Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my mother. She was 79 years old when she passed away. Her death was not unexpected. Cancer is terrible and no one deserves the pain she endured. Through all the agony, you are not the same person you once were. You change. Here are 11 ways losing a parent changes you.
1. There is a sense of relief after a suffering parent dies.
My mom suffered greatly during the past few years of her life. Cancer did that to her. Even though it wasn’t confirmed until a week before her death that her cancer was back, we had suspicions. Even so, hope is always present. Always. Hanging on to any little smidgen of hope until there is none.
2. You become angry. You want the last word.
Even though having the “last word” doesn’t change the result, the “last word” marks a symbolism and it gives you a brief sense of standing up to it. As soon as she passed, I asked that her catheter be taken out immediately. That damn bag and tube. It defined her and I wanted it gone. Now. We also had a burning party a few days after the funeral. Our emotions were raw and we wanted to stare angrily at cancer and proclaim, “we hate what you have done to our mother” and we burned EVERYTHING my mom had that said “Cancer.”