Guest post by Kristeena Patsche
What to expect when dating a farmer.
Growing up with parents as farmers, I knew there were sacrifices and things they had to do “differently” within their relationship to make it successful. It wasn’t until I was in my own relationship with a farmer that I saw the quirks and abnormalities in our relationship compared to my non-ag friends. Here are a few things I’ve found out.
Date nights rarely start before 9 p.m.
Nightly chores come before any plans, so don’t ever expect to have dinner at or before 6 p.m. The plus side? You never hit the dinner rush when going out to eat.
You learn to accept the smell of livestock.
Dating a farmer is not for one who is sensitive to smell. You learn to accept the fact their hands will smell some days, no matter how many times they wash them.
The question, “How was your day?” can be a recipe for disaster.
Farming comes with some really, really rough days. If you are gutsy enough to ask how their day was, be ready for a long explanation of what all broke around the farm that day or what still needs to get done before tomorrow morning.
They usually can create just about any DIY project on Pinterest
Get your DIY Pinterest board ready. Their creativeness and ability to figure out how to create something, even if they have to improvise, is truly unbelievable. Plus, they usually have unused pallets lying around the farm.
If your birthday is in fall or spring, plan to spend it with them in the tractor.
My birthday is in October. Growing up, I didn’t spend many birthdays with my parents unless I visited them in the combine. This has only continued into my relationship and I’ve learned to accept my birthday “getaway” will only be to the field.
Plans can change really quickly.
There is no such thing as an “off time” for farmers. Because it is not an 8-5 job, flexibility has to be your middle name when it comes to making plans for the both of you. If they tell you they will be done in an hour, plan for two.
Weekends are no different than weekdays.
You’ll never hear them say, “I can’t wait for the weekend.” Livestock still needs to be fed and there are always improvements that can be made around the farm. Going away for the weekend is occasional and going out on a Saturday night still means chores need to be done Sunday morning.
Their determination and drive is one in a million.
Even though there are so many things that you need to adjust or get used to when dating a farmer, the determination and drive they have is inspiring. Whether it’s raining, snowing or just having a bad day, they know how to work through it and get the job done. They know they are being counted on and don’t quit easily. At the end of the day, it’s worth it because of who they have become due to being a farmer.
Oh my goodness! All of this is so true!
I’m the farmer and it doesn’t change in your 30s and sometimes it’s hard to convince men that a woman covered in dirt, grease and the smell of livestock is ok.
Linda Mercer says
35 years of marriage to a farmer tells me every one of these is absolutely true. Could add that sometimes separate vacations are necessary because of timing. Mother Nature is in charge exclamation point
Anjanette Shadley Martin says
I think the only thing that could improve is the incorporation of webcams…that way they can check the “Farm Cam” instead of driving all the way back to farm during a local wedding reception etc unless it’s emergency. It could of helped me years ago and a couple of tanks of sour milk if we could of checked in on the help to make sure everything was working properly.
Ronda Musick says
When everyone else is wishing for a white Christmas & you are saying Noooo that means more work and no time for family. The cattle still have to be fed and watered no matter the holiday or what ever else is going on!!
It’s the same when you turn 40, haven’t meet anyone who understands what I do. Always get the question why?
Wanda Patsche says
I hear you. The farming life is for many people, hard to understand. But thankfully we do have farmers or we would all be pretty hungry. Thank you for being a farmer.